Johannesburg - Dearly beloved, we gather here today in the presence of irate deal-seekers to bid farewell to another former and short-lived pioneer in the digital space.
Today we say goodbye to Groupon South Africa.
READ: No more deals as Groupon closes
Born in 2010, Groupon was always there for the last-minute date nights on budget, the holiday destinations we could not afford and of course up to 90% off on that toaster mother always wanted.
Groupon allowed us to purchase jewellery for a loved one, or even trim down the waistline with weight-loss pills, conveniently on sale after the festive season.
Car trouble? No problem – even the agents could not compete with R399 for a major service or just R99 for 3D wheel-alignment.
Holiday? Cheap flights? Wine-tasting? Juice-maker? Groupon vehemently said: “There’s a deal for that!”
In almost all aspects of life – Groupon was there to help make us all… better cheapskates.
Restaurant owners can now breathe a sigh of relief after needing to cut the cost of a quarter-chicken, chips and cool drink – to less than half the price – just to accommodate the large chunk of the sale Groupon would take.
Don’t forget how she allowed us to splurge on unnecessary items and those products we only saw on a day off when the SABC screened infomercials for the majority of the morning.
But let us not forget trying to hide a printed Groupon at night while trying to woo a potential love interest, or even disputes with services providers over what exactly was included in the discount voucher.
Until November 4 2016, Groupon provided us with a solid six years of being a scrooge.
Today we say Rest In Peace, to a champion of discounted sales – gone too soon – with many still up in arms over that 7-piece cooking pot set, expected to arrive only next month.
Rest assured, Groupon is survived by a Google search yielding thousands of search results for “South Africa discount vouchers” – until one by one, they too meet their demise.
They can take away our Groupon – but they cannot take away our thriftiness.