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"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss,” the journalist Jim Murray once wrote.
Some bosses, however, make it virtually impossible not to beat them. Their skills are outdated, they don’t see the big picture, they constantly make stupid mistakes, cost the company a lot of money and take credit for your bright ideas. Worse, they earn much more than you.
This is an infuriating situation. You have a few options.
The most self-defeating would be to stand back and patiently wait it out while your boss eventually implodes under their own incompetence. In the process, however, they could take down your whole division.
Another counterproductive option would be to start fighting your boss on every issue, constantly showing them up on every error. Not only will this lead to low-grade warfare with your manager, but it may even cost you your job and label you as a troublemaker.
Instead, accept that your manager is flawed. And take a long, objective look at the situation. Yes, your boss can’t read a balance sheet and may still believe that HTML is some sort of pool chlorinator. And of course their strategic thinking sucks and their interpersonal skills make Donald Trump look like Kofi Annan. In all of these areas, your boss may be incompetent – but perhaps you can (grudgingly) admit that they are better at some things than you. Cognitive ability isn’t everything. Find something to respect.
Also, acknowledge that you don’t always have the complete picture, says Dr Marlet Tromp, a life and business coach in Johannesburg. “Your boss also has a boss, and may face responsibilities and pressures you are not aware of.”
Accentuate the positive
You need a functional relationship with your boss. Animosity wastes time and energy, and will not help you achieve success. So, focus on building a mutually beneficial relationship. Compliment them on the things they do right, and ask for their advice from time to time.
“Importantly, find out what motivates your boss,” advises Tromp. This will help you identify how you can assist your manager, use your skills to complement his weaknesses and make yourself indispensable.
Eliminate the negative
Don’t complain about your manager to their bosses, or to the rest of your team. Don’t try to resist their authority, and avoid passive-aggressive behaviour.
“Make sure that you are not seen as part of the problem,” says Lizel Stephan, an executive and leadership coach at the Strong Foundation in Cape Town. “No-one likes a person who is constantly criticising or focusing on problems. Make sure your frustration doesn’t poison your own strong points, contribution and outcomes.”
She warns that frustration is a very dangerous emotion. “Not only does it pollute your own attitude, but it also obstructs your own ability to innovate and be creative.”
When you do have a problem with your boss, keep the issue focused on the facts, and don’t get personal, says Tromp. Also, keep communication channels open and discuss any issues before they become real problems.
Focus on your own job
A constant obsession about your manager’s incompetence is a major distraction that will, in the end, affect your own development and work, says Stephan.
Instead of always focusing on what they’re doing wrong, make sure you’re making the most of your own opportunities. Focus on solving problems, saving costs, building sales and creating new business.
Avoid the hot spots
Make sure you know what your manager’s buttons are, and then refrain from pushing them, says Tromp. For example, some managers have set ideas about how a meeting should be conducted (with them starting – and perhaps dominating – the discussion). Trying to change the things that your manager feels very strongly about may be counterproductive. Instead, work around these quirks.
Tromp cites the example of a client whose boss had very weak interpersonal skills. She noticed that he would be particularly obnoxious with the team at the start of the working day, but his mood would steadily settle by mid-morning. She then deliberately changed her schedule to avoid him first thing, which resulted in less conflict and less resentment from her side.
Help your manager perform better
As far as possible, support your manager in their job. Do more than is expected of you and be strategic about where you can assist. Offer to help them learn skills that you may already have.
Yes, your boss will look better than they should thanks to your efforts, but in the end you will have established yourself as a team player and someone who can be trusted. Hopefully, your boss will also start giving you credit.
“Where you can, support your manager’s strategy and vision,” says Stephan. “But this does not mean that you have to take responsibility for your manager’s mistakes. If you are constantly cleaning up your manager’s messes, and if his errors are
causing substantial losses, it is your duty to escalate the problem.”
In the end, approach the situation with your manager as a learning opportunity. “It demands great maturity to put someone else’s success above your own short-term gratification,” says Stephan.
“But if you do commit to respecting your boss and focusing on the success of the team, even if you are not being inspired by their leadership, you will learn a lot and strengthen your own ability to eventually become a leader.”
This article originally appeared in the 25 August edition of finweek. Buy and download the magazine here.
