Share

Twitter – a merciless vampire of time and productivity

Twitter is the world’s number one network for catching up on news, sharing opinions, and letting people know what you’re having for breakfast. It is also a merciless vampire of time and productivity, even if, in theory, you can quit any time you want. Go on, just try. It’ll only take you a couple of minutes.

By Tom Eaton*

Just two minutes, three at most. Okay, five. Ten. Definitely no more than 15. And if 15 become 20, what’s the harm? Isn’t it part of my job as a columnist to be on Twitter? Am I not supposed to keep my finger on the digital pulse of the zeitgeist?

Wait, can a zeitgeist have a pulse – it’s a ghost, after all – and if it does, can it be digital? Let me ask my followers what they think.

Twenty minutes later I’m no closer to answers, because I haven’t asked any questions. Instead I’ve watched a Vine of a pug puppy, and eavesdropped on a second-rate twar between third-rate celebrities.

I have learned nothing, accomplished less. But as if by magic I have evaporated 20 – no, 30 minutes. Where did the extra 10 go? Damn that pug.

I try to rationalise this casual destruction of time by telling myself that I was keeping my brand visible and staying abreast of current culture. But of course that’s rubbish.

Publishers tell writers that we need to be marketing ourselves relentlessly, but honestly, apart from the odd eloquent takedown of an idiot by JK Rowling, who really wants to read the un-edited word-burps of writers? And as for keeping abreast of current culture, the only culture on Twitter is the kind you grow on a petri dish.

tom eaton
No, the truth is that Twitter is just a productivity black hole, and that’s not an idle metaphor. The figures are astronomical. 300 million users write 500 million tweets a day. The average tweet is between 40 and 60 characters long, so assuming about 10 words a tweet, humanity is typing out the equivalent of “The Lord of the Rings” 11 000 times every single day.


Apparently we spend an average of 17 minutes a day on the platform. That doesn’t sound like a lot, but over the course of a year that’s four straight days. Stephen King writes 2 000 words a day, so in the four days you spent tweeting about your lunch, he’s written 8 000 words. Granted, 8 000 words is just the opening paragraph of the average King blockbuster, but you get the point.

Twitter doesn’t only obliterate time, though. It also destroys perspective. Every day it presents us with something which it claims deserves all of our attention (or outrage) right now.

Yes, yesterday’s thing was the worst ever, but – what? Nigerian schoolgirls have been kidnapped, so we all need to – what’s that? A movie star’s nudes have been – wait, the President won’t pay back the – OMG, a dentist shot a lion? And so on and so on, faster and faster, louder and louder, shallower and shallower.

Twitter has to latch onto endless new outrages because if it pauses to reflect on yesterday’s events, it dies. It can’t afford to have a memory, because it exists only in a world of an endless now. Those who enjoy Twitter talk of its immediacy and its energy. I’ve enjoyed those. But I also know that creative people need memory, quiet and space.

So will I practise what I’m preaching here and get off Twitter? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll ask my followers for advice. Just give me 10 minutes and I’ll let you know. Actually, make it 15.

* Tom Eaton is a columnist, screenwriter and sometime novelist, living and working in Cape Town.

** This article first appeared on the Change Exchange, an online platform by BrightRock, provider of the first-ever life insurance that changes as your life changes.

* For more in-depth business news, visit biznews.com or simply sign up for the daily newsletter.

We live in a world where facts and fiction get blurred
Who we choose to trust can have a profound impact on our lives. Join thousands of devoted South Africans who look to News24 to bring them news they can trust every day. As we celebrate 25 years, become a News24 subscriber as we strive to keep you informed, inspired and empowered.
Join News24 today
heading
description
username
Show Comments ()
Rand - Dollar
18.94
-0.2%
Rand - Pound
23.91
-0.1%
Rand - Euro
20.43
+0.2%
Rand - Aus dollar
12.34
+0.1%
Rand - Yen
0.13
-0.2%
Platinum
910.50
+1.5%
Palladium
1,011.50
+1.0%
Gold
2,221.35
+1.2%
Silver
24.87
+0.9%
Brent Crude
86.09
-0.2%
Top 40
68,346
+1.0%
All Share
74,536
+0.8%
Resource 10
57,251
+2.8%
Industrial 25
103,936
+0.6%
Financial 15
16,502
-0.1%
All JSE data delayed by at least 15 minutes Iress logo
Company Snapshot
Editorial feedback and complaints

Contact the public editor with feedback for our journalists, complaints, queries or suggestions about articles on News24.

LEARN MORE
Government tenders

Find public sector tender opportunities in South Africa here.

Government tenders
This portal provides access to information on all tenders made by all public sector organisations in all spheres of government.
Browse tenders