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Making sacrifices now to avoid being a burden on your children later is part of responsible parenting, writes Maya Fisher-French
I was fortunate growing up to have a really great mum. She was the kind of person one thinks of when you say “mother”.
An involved parent, she made the pompoms for sports day, sewed pretty dresses for me, came to all the parent-teacher meetings and was always there with a sandwich and a glass of milk when we got home from school.
Yet the greatest gift she gave me was her financial and emotion independence in her later years. Unlike so many of my friends and peers, I did not have to financially support my mother in her old age and I also don’t have to worry about her. In fact, her life is so full at the age of 75, she has to make time in her diary to see me.
Though not wealthy, my mother has enough money to buy her groceries and pay her bills. She has enough to enjoy her golden years now that she finally has the time to take holidays and engage in her numerous hobbies.
Her journey here, however, was not paved with gold. It took sacrifice and commitment. When I was 16 years old, my father passed away, leaving our family in financial dire straits. With my brother and me still at school, my mother, at the age of 48, had to find work after being a stay-at-home mum for nearly 20 years.
She was forced to sell our family home to settle debts, and later our furniture to pay for groceries and petrol.
It was a tough road and money was always tight, but my mother made the sacrifices then that led to her financial freedom today. While I moved in with my older sister, she rented a room in an acquaintance’s home and worked all hours of the day and night to start a catering company. She counted her pennies.
Although, over time, she managed to build a smaller house with what was left of the money from the family home, she rented it out and moved into a rent-free, one-room cottage on a friend’s property to save money while studying to be a national tour guide.
I remember my siblings and myself thinking at the time that she had truly lost her mind, choosing to live this Spartan life in a 30m2 room, but she focused on becoming financially independent.
I remember being frustrated at the lack of money and that everything came down to not having enough of it for anything – except our education. Somehow, she still managed to pay for my university fees – another gift far greater than any toy, branded clothing or iPad (had they been around) could ever be.
Although she has now retired and has a lovely home fully paid for, she is not lavish with her money. She has that culture that is embedded in the older generation – they just don’t value material things the way our generation does. What she has is enough for her.
I was speaking to my brother recently about the lessons we learnt from each of our parents, which were both valuable in different ways.
From our father we learnt the importance of making sure we did not live in debt, to put enough money away for our retirement and have insurance so that our children could be provided for and educated, should we die too early. We learnt that spending money to keep up appearances came at too high a price.
From our mother we learnt no financial disaster was too big to overcome if you were prepared to take the necessary action – and saying no today could provide one with financial freedom tomorrow.
We also learnt that the best gift we could give our children was not the latest fashion fad, iPhone or new car, but a decent education and financially secure parents.
With these gifts, our children will be free to make choices and, hopefully, grow into financially secure adults themselves
