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Friends & Fiction: Burdened by the African disease

There are diseases that mostly attack Africans, such as malaria and African trypanosomiasis, or sleeping sickness, caused by the tsetse fly.

The latter must never be confused with “niggeritis”, which is an ailment that puts you to sleep after a lunch of good pap.

There is also a terrible disease that seems to attack only African politicians.

It baffles the brain and causes extreme self-centredness, where the politician confuses personal and national interests, or, indeed, his personal dislikes, with taboo.

It is called political narcissism, and has led to the destruction of many African countries.

The world was looking to South Africa to change the African stereotype, which is why many people came to this country after our liberation.

In their eyes, this was the promised land that our forebears, such as Kwame Nkrumah, had dreamed of.

Sadly, our current leaders have turned this country into a sewage pit of riotous corruption and discontent.

The mayor of Johannesburg, Herman Mashaba, has shown that he is no breath of fresh air and that, like the rest of them, he is nothing but flatulence.

During the recent election campaign, he promised to scrap ­e-tolls, but as soon as he got into power, he reneged on his promise.

Now he has promised to scrap the city’s planned bicycle lanes – until all the streets of Johannesburg have been tarred.

Does he not know that cycling is the cleanest, cheapest and healthiest form of transport, or does he not care?

Has he not witnessed the hordes who walk from Alexandra township to Sandton? Instead, he is more concerned with the pleasures of the so-called blessers and the luxury cars they drive.

Some say he is pandering to the Economic Freedom Fighters (EFF), which promised to shut down the bicycle lanes.

Indeed, Floyd Shivambu, EFF deputy president, tweeted: “Of course the EFF is against bicycle lanes that are implemented at the expense of basic services.”

Are these real revolutionaries or are they reactionaries? Are they schooled in the philosophy of Mao Tse-tung or are they simply an anti-Nkandla brigade?

When Mao came to power, as part of strengthening the revolution, he encouraged three must-haves – a sewing machine, a watch and a bicycle.

Is it any wonder that China has become the tailor of the world? We don’t know of Chinese time, but we certainly know of African time, and it is the joke of the world.

According to the World Health Organisation , South Africa ranks number 151 in life expectancy.

Mao’s bicycle nation is not the first, but it is almost 100 places ahead of us, at number 53. So if Fat Shivambu wants to live long enough to see the effect of the policies he debates in Parliament, he’d better get on that bike and lose some weight, otherwise he’ll collapse while howling in the House.

The EFF must be careful not to inadvertently become an economic fascism force that supports ideas originated by right-wingers such as Milton Friedman.

These were propagated and implemented through right wing South American governments, which harmed the poor of that region and led to extensive political instability.

We need bicycle lanes in Johannesburg, and every family should be encouraged to have at least one bicycle so they can ride to work and to the shops instead of using cars and taxis to travel distances within a 15km radius.

That would be good for the environment, our health and our pockets. This is common sense, but to Joburg’s leaders, it’s rocket science. Or is it the stereotypical African disease?

Kuzwayo is the founder of Ignitive, an advertising agency

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