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Let's bring back respect

ON THE very day that our news bulletins were full of the Porsche incident in Fourways, Gauteng, I turned sedately into a parking lot and drove down the row, looking for a spot to park.

I saw the rear lights on a parked car go on, but it never occurred to me to stop moving; it was my right of way, after all. Wrong move. The car “proceeded to reverse with some speed” as a cop report would put it, and I was forced to brake hard, even though I could not have been doing 20km an hour.

Mr Man stopped too, opened his door and made as if to get out and come at me, his face red with rage, his mouth spewing four-letter words. Cue instant adrenalin rush.

It looked to me as though he was, as the classic South African word has it, ‘soeking’. He wanted me to give him an excuse to do some damage. Somewhere in his life that day, someone had given him grief, and he wanted to find someone more vulnerable to take it out on.

I’m so scared of some lunatic with a gun or a madman like the Australian who attacked an ex-cop that I usually behave in an uncharacteristically cowed manner on the road, avoiding eye contact and rapidly mouthing “Sorry!” if I think I’ve done something slightly wrong. I save my futile gestures and cuss-words for when the offending driver can’t see me.

A 2008 survey in South Africa found that “Eleven percent of men confessed that they had directed threatening driving behaviour towards other drivers and 3% admitted to physically getting out of their vehicles to express their anger, in comparison, women scored 7% and 1% respectively”.

While an undated survey by the AA found that in Johannesburg:
- 63.3% of respondents reported experiencing aggression directed at them on a daily basis;
- 47% of all road rage is generated by young drivers between the ages of 18 and 25;
- 1.1% of respondents admitted to assaulting someone during a road rage incident; and
- 3.4% of respondents claimed to have been assaulted during a road rage incident.

Road rage is not a crime (unless it progresses to an assault), so surveys like these are the best info I can find.

But it is a huge cause for concern. Every incident poses risks to third parties as well (like oncoming traffic side-swiped by an angry driver). We lose around R306bn a year to road accidents, a loss we cannot afford. Anything that increases the rate of accidents on our roads does more than cause havoc, injury and grief in individuals’ lives, it steals GDP.

What can be done about road rage? I’m at a loss, and a prolonged search through scientific and non-scientific literature didn’t yield any satisfying answers.

There are the personal tips to prevent road rage, the best of which, I think, is “do unto others as you would have them do to you” – in other words, behave with consideration and courtesy on the roads, and obey the traffic rules. And, as with all predators, never make eye contact.

And at a policy level, “… prevention efforts could be directed to long-term societal changes that emphasize structural modifications, such as reducing congestion on the roads, reduced driver stress, or promoting public transportation.” (Can Road Rage Be Prevented? Mark Asbridge et al, Trauma Violence & Abuse 05/2006)

But reducing congestion and boosting public transportation is a long-term solution, and I want answers now.

Maybe the thing to do is convert the e-toll gantries so that they spray calming lavender and ylang-ylang essential oils on passing motorists to de-stress them; or employ needy people to sing meditation songs at robots; or turn speed cameras into devices that beam calming subliminal messages into the eyes of furious motorists; or get traffic cops to stop people and give them little pamphlets on stress relief, along with a brief neck massage…

But seriously: perhaps we should start treating this as a symptom of a wider issue, which affects the way the police behave towards civilians; the way strikers and protesters act; how politicians and official bodies treat the public; the interactions between staff and employers in offices and on shop floors; relations between teachers and learners; and much more.

Perhaps we should embark on a campaign to inculcate respect and simple courtesy in ourselves, our fellow citizens and our children, while modelling the fact that there are other ways to handle conflict and confrontation.

Such a nationwide campaign would draw in actors, singers, teachers, imams, ministers and rabbis, the remaining members of the Great Generation who fought apartheid, radio personalities, representatives of important industries from the taxi to the mining industry (at all levels), and many more. Because we need to knobble this thing before it turns into a nightmare that overwhelms us all.

So – anyone want to start a campaign like that? I’d call it “It begins with me”, thinking of the lyrics, “Let there be peace on earth/and let it begin with me”. But we don’t have to fight over the name…

 - Fin24

*Mandi Smallhorne is a versatile journalist and editor. Views expressed are her own. Follow her on twitter.

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