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If recent University of Massachusetts research showing that most people (60%) can’t have a 10-minute conversation without lying at least once is correct; imagine the corporate damage that an undetected, cynical and compulsive liar can cause.
We all know that relationships, corporate and domestic, are built on trust and have experienced the disappointment and hurt when we realise we’ve been lied to.
Some lies cover up emotional ‘leaks,’ (the worst perhaps being an affair or the passing on of proprietary business information – for whatever reasons), but all involve dishonesty, with the perpetrators trying to escape responsibility or wanting to avoid consequences.
So, imagine how handy it would be if you could detect when somebody is lying – sans the wires, calibration and plethora of baseline questions that define a lie-detector machine test.
Well, according to Reuben Yonatan it’s possible, by dint of similar methodology, but using verbal and body-language clues, as listed in the combination of 16 methods described below.
Even more than that, the latest science and research claims you can do and say things that can actually alter this person’s dishonest behaviour – without alienating them. If that sounds too far-fetched, take a read – trying this out might just change your mind – and debunk a few common myths.
Also, check out the fascinating gender differences in the fibbing department – it seems women far outperform men in the compassion stakes. Perhaps evolution hard-wired them for it… – Chris Bateman
By Reuben Yonatan*
A productive and innovative workplace is built on trust, but when a colleague lies to get ahead and undermine the rest of the time, that can cause major problems.
A study by the University of Massachusetts found that 60% of people can’t have a ten minute conversation without lying at least once but it’s important to think about what kinds of lies people are telling.
Some people tell kind-hearted lies to make others feel better about themselves. Others tell small lies to fit into a group situation better (like having similar interests when they actually don’t). These lies in themselves aren’t bad. It’s when lying becomes compulsive and manipulative that it’s a problem.
A study in Nature Neuroscience found that the more someone lies, the easier it gets because the brain actually becomes desensitised to lying and people feel less guilt. If this is the case, it may be difficult to spot a compulsive liar, so you should familiarize yourself with the signs to look out for.
Lying presents itself in everyone differently. In order to tell if mannerisms are out of the ordinary, you should have a general understanding of how someone usually acts. Do they typically fidget a lot, or is that something they do when they’re nervous? Do they talk in an animated fashion or are they more monotone? Knowing these things will help you determine when someone is acting different than normal.
It’s also important to note that lack of eye contact and fidgeting aren’t necessarily signs of lying. Researchers at the University of Michigan found that 70% of courtroom liars actually made eye contact, and social psychologist Bella DePaulo noted that liars don’t typically appear more fidgety than people telling the truth. In fact, they may appear more stiff.
To help you recognise signs of lying, GetVoIP put together this visual based on scientific research and data from experienced psychologists.
Though it may be hard to change the ways of some liars, there are things you can do to reduce lying in your company. For example, researchers at UCLA and MIT found that people who were reminded of a moral code, cheated less.
Another tactic is to subtly expose frequent liars. These liars may feel like they are smarter than everyone and can lie without being noticed. When they are called out they know that their lies aren’t fooling anyone.
Because communication and trust play such an important role in fostering a productive environment, it’s important to weed out manipulative coworkers. Paying attention to body language and verbal cues can help.
- Reuben Yonatan is the founder of GetVoIP, a leading VoIP provider comparison resource. As an entrepreneur and tech enthusiast, Reuben’s expertise is in helping small to mid-size business owners build, maintain, and scale their communication infrastructure.
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